Patience

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." - Philippians 4:6-7 (ESV)

So much has happened since the last time I posted anything. I finished my senior year in college, attended three weddings, and have been working as Children's Ministry Intern at Calvary Baptist Church in Alexandria, LA. Approaching the summer, I felt an overwhelming sense of urgency. I felt as though I was running out of time for everything: to find a place to live for the summer, to find a job, to have fun with my friends before they left, to relax, and to find a boyfriend. You're laughing, I know. But it's true. 

Since I'm writing this from an apartment in Alexandria where I work at Calvary, you can see that the rest fell into place just as God had planned just like, deep down inside under all my worry, I knew it would. So, I'll address the most ridiculous one: boyfriend. Being Maid of Honor in my best friend's wedding, going to two more, and my mom's wedding looming overhead kind of put the urgency in me. Oh, did I mention that a thousand and two of my friends have gotten engaged recently? 

Lie #1: I (or you!) need a boyfriend to be happy.

It feels like that's the truth a lot of the time. We are built to desire relationships. The desire for a relationship with creation should not outweigh the desire for a relationship with your Creator. That's where I was at before I even went to any of the weddings. I wanted nothing more to be in a relationship. You've heard that God has great timing, right? Well, at the right time, He revealed this verse to me:

Truth #1: "But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you." - Matthew 6:33 (ESV)

We're told not to worry about anything, that we should seek the Lord and His will and everything will fall into place. It's easy to say that, but believing it in your heart is another vile creature in itself. Just like in the Garden of Eden, Satan tries to twist words around and make us doubt what the Lord tells us. Jesus tells us to seek the Lord first. Paul writes that we should imitate God (Eph. 5:1) and that we are saved by grace through faith (Eph. 2:8). To counteract that, Satan tries to tell us that we can achieve our dreams by pursuing them ourselves and forgetting about God's guidance. Satan tells us that we can live however we want and that we will never be good enough to get into Heaven anyway.

That's exactly what Satan was telling me to tempt me to go against what God has for me. God tells us that His plan for us isn't to hurt us (Jer. 29:11). Since I know that God's Word is infallible and 100% true, I know that God's plan isn't to leave me broken-hearted and unwanted. He loved me so much that He sent His Son to die for me so that I may have the opportunity to come back to Him. My Heavenly Father wants a relationship with me. His love endures forever.

Truth #2: "For the LORD is good; his steadfast love endures forever, and his faithfulness to all generations." - Psalm 100:5 (ESV)

I'm not ranting and raving on relationships. They're fantastic, as long as they're glorifying the Lord. I'm ranting on my susceptibility to feeling like I have to have a relationship. I don't. All that is to say is that at the beginning of the summer, I vowed that I would fast from thinking about relationships because just the thought of one was becoming an idol in my life. That obviously means that I was in no place to be wanting a relationship because I would have put that guy above God in my heart. No guy deserves the pressure that would come with being held to such a standard and God deserves my whole heart. 

My thoughts betray me and I linger toward that feeling of loneliness when being single becomes almost overwhelming. Satan knows weaknesses, but in my weaknesses, I’m made strong.

Truth #3: “But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” – 2 Corinthians 12:9 (ESV)

If we weren’t weak, we wouldn’t need saving. The strongest person in the world could pump out a thousand reps on bench press, but a weak person wouldn’t be able to touch that number of reps. The weak person would need help. Likewise, if we think we are strong enough to do everything on our own, we will try and fail. Heaven is unattainable on our own. Acknowledging weakness is realizing that we need help. Realizing that we need help brings us to Jesus. Without Jesus, we would be held captive by our sin. Jesus broke the chains of that captivity when he arose in victory over the cross and the grave.

To be honest, I started this post out in order to write about my summer working at Calvary. God guided my words to another topic! I hope it helps someone who reads it. If not, well, it at least helped me to get it out in written form. If you need prayer, please don’t hesitate to ask for it. I pray that this post found you in good health and peaceful spirit. Though we may be weak, our God is immeasurably strong. Lean on His strength.